Bullet Witch

Bullet Witch.

Now, then. I actually enjoyed the hell out of this game, and I think if more of the gaming community could stop sucking the balls of the mainstream reviewers, and actually try out a god damn game for themselves, this game would've sold alot better.

I played through Bullet Witch, expecting Satan himself to come up from the floor, and repeatedly kick me in the balls, from what I read on the reviews.

The oddest thing happened, though. The game was actually..fun. The story wasn't very strong, but it was good enough to keep me wondering what was going to happen next; and then ofcourse, the main focus of the game - the action.

In reviews, I read things like, "There are horrible clipping issues" (none of which I saw), "Hit detection is way off, if a car flies a mile within your range, you die instantly" (LOL? I dodged a fucking bus a split second before it hit me - meaning, you just suck at the game) and there were various others, all of which turned out to be total bullshit when I played the game myself, and tried them out.

The only real complaint I have about this game is how short it is - it's only 6 "chapters" long, and aside from final boss which is a total cock monger, the game was fun. I would've liked it to be longer, (which was tried to be done via the DLC) but it was a LOW BUDGET GAME. I was incredibly impressed that this low budget game managed to turn out as well as it did, and was actually outraged that it got so many horrible reviews..

Which of course smacked me in the face with the realization that, if you don't pay someone to re view your game, they're going to make it sound like playing it is worse than drinking the blood of unborn babies, while raping Mother Theresa in the ass with Satan's face. Shame for the gaming community, but I suppose it means we have to stop being fucking SHEEP.

Anyways, back to the game. Everything in your arsenal is situational - you don't have to use it, either, but it makes the game much easier, and more fun, if you know when to do what. For example, if there's a group of enemies standing still, cast Rose Spikes, it'll kill them all instantly. Helecopter in the sky? Use your cannon, blow the fucker out of the air.

As I type this, I haven't even completed the game 100%; (My laziness always manages to subdue the completionist in me..) but I do intend to do so.. because this game is just that fucking awesome. You can probrably pick it up relatively cheap in a bin or something now, and I recommend you do so, while waiting for the next Halo game, you mindless fucking drones.